The other night I dreamed that as I stood in a place that I always did and spontaneously every structure around me began to implode upon itself and there was chaos all around. I felt helpless as I watched everything around me crumble before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was as if the buildings were wired within to self destruct. There were no terrorist around, no one running from the site that could be held accountable. It was clearly an “inside” job. The interesting thing was, though every building exploded in on itself, the foundation beneath the falling structures stood firm beneath the rubble.
In the last few days, I realized something was taking place that I’ve believed in my heart but had to be seen with my heart beyond what my eyes could see.
When you see from the purity of heart, which is an inside job, it always affects what one does. It is the reason that the blind can often see more clearly than the sighted. The obsession changes from this trying to find and do something to stop something from happening, to walking through the process of allowing the ideas and blueprints that are man made to self destruct as they are suppose to do, so that when you begin to rebuild, you still have the foundation in place. The trick this time is not to build from the blueprint handed to you from others. Rather it is to take advantage of the eery silence after the fall and put your ear to the ground until in the stillness, in the quiet, you find yourself hearing the beats of your true heart found in the rubble.
This isn’t an easy task to find your true heart at first because all the voices from outside are still trying to tell you what to do. This is why it a deeper work of the eyes of the heart. This seeing that sometimes has to squint and adapt to the still settling dust. One of the writers of the scripture penned, ” In your patience, possess ye your soul.”
This is what the unsighted see. They know that patience is what they must embrace as they learn to see with all their other senses. They place their walking stick out in front of them and feel all around for what they might encounter ahead. They listen with their ears to what might be a calling them to stop or go. And when they look at you, they use their ears to really see you because they hold nothing in their hand that would distract them from what you are revealing of yourself.
When you can face the journey of the inner and outer demolition of that which seems to have no rhyme or reason , where it appears that all life has been lost , then the rebuilding is able to begin. It takes the seeing the holy amidst the pain and the anguish of what has been lost. And even then, there are times that you will find life hidden within this earthy combustion.
What I have also learned of Holy is that when I look at another with the eyes of my heart rather than the ears of my intellect, this is where I begin…
the World. Within every circumstance of life, if I would remember to just put my ear to the ground and hear the stirrings of life within everything that is there, I would not only feel the beat of my own heart, but I would feel the beat of the heart of all. The whole idea of “losing your life to find it”, doesn’t mean what I thought it did. Rather it means to lose what you thought was life in order to really find it.
“However we may fall, there is this voice that speaks beneath our pain ever so quickly, and if we can hear it and believe it, it will show us the way to get up and re-enter life. This courage to hear and embody ( see) what we hear ( see) opens us to a more startling secret that the best chance to be whole is to love whatever gets in the way, until it ceases to be an obstacle.” ~Mark Nepo~