Postpartum Depression: Shattering The Silence

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I was so excited to hear that I was going to have a new grandson! My little Barret ( first one) lived in N.M. and I couldn’t hardly wait to see him any time I could. They grow up so fast. Now this time I was going to have a grandson that would live in Phx. and I was excited once again upon hearing the news: “We’re pregnant!”
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We dreamed for the day to arrive and the pregnancy had some rough bumps along the way, you know, fears, concerns, a loss in the beginning that we weren’t expecting, but still the joy of Levi coming took over in the last few months. She had a great pregnancy with no sickness! That caused some worry, but she was so lucky, we told her. There were so many emotions along the way, but then the room took form and we all got ready…12187879_1145681908778681_3872363661061165283_n

The Love…12034466_1133046736708865_6641007983942675451_o

The connection and the prayers. 12045428_1133047170042155_7104357912807760207_o

The giggles. 12031502_1133046820042190_8745483651181806445_o

The intimate alone times. 12241781_1155898877756984_2868176342463543094_n 11223640_1141539505859588_4215658289563952053_n

The high fives! 12079544_1133047183375487_6359949653622040780_n

And the little man and beating heart within…12046576_1133046516708887_8575384304574037362_n 12074639_1133046423375563_8667041391735452920_n

We planned such a fun baby shower and all the right people who could be there were there who loved my daughter! Levi was coming into this world WANTED and extremely LOVED.
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Then the day of Levi’s burst in to the World was at hand!
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Then came all the FIRSTS..
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And the next piece is my beautiful Amanda’s story to tell in her own words.

“So I am not usually one to air my dirty laundry on Facebook. However, anyone who knows me knows that I am very open and honest about the things I go through in my life. Because I have so many friends pregnant right now, I want to talk about whats been going on with me.

The last two months of becoming a new mother have been very challenging for me. I have been dealing with postpartum depression and it has been very hard. I originally thought it was just the baby blues but when it continued I knew it was more than that. Every day was a challenge for me. I couldn’t stop crying and there were days when I did not want to care for Levi. I never neglected him but some days I just wanted to stay in bed all day. I have never felt so low in my life. As mothers we are told that this should be the best time in our lives and we should feel extremely happy. I had so much guilt because I did not feel that way. I found myself regretting the fact that I had a baby. I finally went to my doctor and he explained to me that when the placenta left my body my hormones just drop off. He said some woman’s bodies just can’t handle that kind of extreme change and therefore my brain was not producing enough serotonin. So for now I am on a very low dose of antidepressants and it has made a world of difference. I finally feel like myself again and am starting to really enjoy my son. I still struggle some days but not nearly as bad as it was.

I feel like not enough woman come forward and talk about their struggle with postpartum depression. It is real and some woman need help with it. It is literally a chemical imbalance in the brain that occurs after labor. I’m sure most of my friends will not have to deal with it but if you do please do not beat yourself up for it. It is more common than we know. Luckily for me I had a huge support system and would not of been able to get through it without my husband and my mom.

I wrote this purely to shed some light on postpartum depression and the challenge women have with it.

I really felt like I should talk about it just in case someone else goes through it. Know you are not alone. I love my son more than anything and I am extremely thankful for him.”
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As a mother myself, and my youngest Amanda being MY baby, it was the hardest thing to see her face this. I knew she would come out of it, but you never know when or how the hormones are going to react. I’m so proud of her telling her story and being strong enough to show such vulnerability. She is one of my three heroes in life and each one of them have faced amazing obstacles they have come through and overcome. I am SO proud of my daughter for owning and sharing her story about Postpartum depression. I couldn’t love her more right now for being the strong and vulnerable woman she is. Please don’t isolate yourself when you need to talk about the changes that come with having a baby. Postpartum Depression is NOTHING to be ashamed of. It’s REAL.

Levi is starting to give back now He is cooing and full of smiles for us all. We laugh so much at his attempts to fuss when he wants to laugh and vice versa. He is such a joy to us. He loves his mommy and daddy who kept loving him and being so caring throughout the sleep deprivation, the colic, and this two month journey in the midst of being first time parents and hormone imbalance. I’m so proud of them both. It’s fun to watch how much they love him back, how much they are concerned over all the things that first parents are concerned about and the wonderful bonding that is taking place. It’s so wonderful to watch your own children have children.

We are now entering the next chapter with Levi, and looking forward to all that it will have to say.
To be continued..
With love,
Teri Undreiner

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