” What keeps us from being fully attentive, from saying “Yes”? I think it’s all the stuff we carry with us.” Patti Digh
Day 4. Yesterday I decided to write a love song of what I would want to say to someone if I loved them. I had to think through my own ideas of love with a “yes” in them. So I began it and I couldn’t finish the song. I decided to put it away and begin again with a clearer brain. I picked it back up this morning and liked what I wrote in the first two verses. The “Bridge” of the song has always been the easiest for me to write. Once, a very good friend said to me, ” Teri, YOU are a bridge for other people, that’s why you love writing the bridges of your songs the best. You take people from one place to another. You help them cross over and that is why you start with the Bridges first.” WOW! I hadn’t realized that. It was a true eye opener to see what kind of life I was living nearly 25 years ago when she said that. But, I hadn’t began this love song with the Bridge, I had began with verses and they flowed pretty easy. Today though, as I finished those verses and have to have a Bridge to bring it all together and sum it up, I am having a hard time with it. Is it because I didn’t start there? Or is it because I don’t know HOW to sum it all up when I fall in love? Could it be because I’ve fallen OUT of love rather than IN deeper? Hmmmmm.
Photo courtesy of Daniel Rotgear.
I decided to go back to thinking about a ceremony I did recently in Sedona for myself. Someone there said that we have to fall in love with ourselves and marry ourselves first so that when another comes along, we understand how to love and marry them. If we don’t love and commit to ourselves IN LOVE and respect, we won’t give it to another either or expect it from them towards us. In this picture above, I’m holding a rock with the word ” LOVE” written in Hebrew. I love the Hebrew language and so it was very fitting. The Hebrew language is a series of word pictures. Pictures don’t lie. That’s why I love them. They are not merely words on paper, they depict life. I needed something to not just be a word on a piece of paper. I needed an image, a symbol that depicted LIFE to me. Rather than hold flowers, I sat among them and held a depiction of life in my hands and offered it to God and myself first, and if I offer it to another, I will know what that means.
photo courtesy of Stephen Sinek..
So, what keeps me from being fully attentive and saying YES? What is the stuff I carry around with me that prevents me from living the life I love and loving the life I live? My practice leads me to a target range and a picture my friend, Steve Sinek took, where I consider what I aim for and what I don’t. How far off do I get when I’m aiming for something? When I say “yes” do I really mean “no” and vice versa?
It comes back to Satya. Being truthful with myself and the things I carry.
Today, I’m going to be thinking a bit deeper about being a bridge to myself and my own ideas about what it is to really love and honor the things that God has placed within my heart. The verses are in place, and how to create a bridge between the stuff I carry and what I really want is challenging. Is the bridge already there within me or do I need to go outside of myself to create it? Can I become the bridge to what I want, myself? I may need to let go of a few things I’m holding on to. Look me! No hands? No holding on?
photo courtesy of Kristy Snider..
It’s Monday and I get to ….
Saying “YES” and engaging it with intensity today, and I’m still not rushing it. Kind of like love where only “fools rush in”. Tomorrow I’ll share as far as I’ve gotten with my song. Maybe there will be a bridge and maybe not. Just for today I will live in the verses with INTENSITY and ENGAGE them right where they are…