Day 5 of my journey into inhabiting my own life.
Talisman: “An article or object that is believed to contain certain sacramental properties. A symbol that became important to the person who believed in it.”
It’s such a wonderful feeling to not rush for five whole days. To allow myself to be present at exactly where I’m at. I’ve had more peace as I’ve embraced the yes of that with such intensity.
Lately, I’ve really been into symbols. I’ve been doing symbolic things and finding something that would symbolize my journey of those doings. Recently, I asked my girl’s group to bring something to dinner that was a symbol of their journeys. It was so awesome to see what they were! I felt like I grew to know them so much deeper. I brought two symbols with me. One was a tiny magnifying glass and the other was a black stone with the word : ” BALANCE”on it. My symbols told the story that in my life, I was always a seeker from early on and in this period of my life, my seeking has been for balance which I felt often alluded me as my life gets so busy. I’ve always been one to search intently for clues, insights, and the deepest meanings possible in something and it has always paid off for me, but hasn’t always been welcomed by others.
I had the strangest dream last night about a little bird that didn’t have a home. Somewhere it had lost it’s parents on it’s journey to learn to fly out of it’s nest. It was a healthy little bird though, as if it knew how to find food and water and to keep itself away from the predators that were around the area. I was amazed to watch this little bird fly around and yet stay close by as well. The thing is, I wanted to find it’s tribe, it’s nest, it’s community of like species, so I went on a search with the little bird in the palm of my hands.
I have always loved images of birds wherever I see them so this was so telling.
The wonderful thing about a seeker of something is that usually they are also a finder. I found two nests in my old family room up on a tall shelf. In one nest there was a baby Kackle, and in the other one were a bunch of little baby sparrows. As I looked at my tiny bird to see which nest it belonged to, I couldn’t really tell because it didn’t look exactly like either species of birds, but I wondered if it would be excepted into their nest, so I tried both. The parent Kackle came back to the nest and wasn’t thrilled to find another bird in her baby’s nest so she fluffed her wings and my little bird flew out of that next and I caught it. Then, I put it in the sparrows nest and it didn’t seem to fit in there either as it quickly flew out again and I caught it again. It loved being in my hands for some reason and I knew it was safe there even though I wanted it to be a part of the bird world where it really belonged. I decided to leave the bird in the room with both nests and see if it could find it’s own safe place. Then I woke up.
As I poured my coffee to sit with my reading and my pen in hand to write whatever inspired me, I thought back about my dream and saw it’s resemblance into my own life. I’ve always been a loner of sorts and yet at the same time I am fully sociable as well. I need my own space, but I also need a tribe . As I mused about my dream, I picked up my own worn Bible that was falling apart at the seams, and opened it to the Easter Story and how interesting that I began reading about where Jesus is telling His disciples that His sheep belonged to Him and no one could snatch them out of His hand. He also spoke about no one being able to snatch them out of the Fathers hand either. I knew that my dream was speaking to me in my unconscious state that I was perfectly safe right where I was and and that I was never once out of His hand while on my journey out of the nest. I had always been a seeker since I was probably six years old, and I was always seeking for a place of safety. I thought I had found it for many years but then I was called out from that nest as well.
As I have sat pondering this all of this in the a.m. I am amazed at how all of my Easters have unfolded, and how my journey always brings me back to my Talisman, my safe place, my tribe within tribes. It speaks to me about the diversity that Is God and yet at the same time the Oneness of God. That place where we are always right in the palm of Gods hand while we are still learning to grow up and away from our nesting place, only to find it again ,though it’s different. My journey has led me to a place more inclusive, more open, more accepting, unlike the nests in my dream. Though they didn’t want the bird in their nests, the other birds allowed the little one to stay “around”, just not “IN” their own space. I wanted to be one who held everyone sacred where anyone could fit it and feel like they were “HOME”.
So, my 5th day of saying “YES” with INTENSITY. YES to my journey. YES to my flying. YES to INCLUSION. YES to my Talisman.