We are each on a trip, a journey, and sometimes we don’t know where we are going, and other times we know, but we don’t know how it will be along the way. When we lose control of the journey, ( because often the journey takes US) what have we left? When we have exhausted all answers, all methodology, all that we know to do, what have we got to hold onto? All we know to do is to BE who we are, to hold space for ourselves and what we believe at the very core of our Being. It must become ever so simple, brought down to the minutest moment of each day, savoring it, holding it, gazing at it with respect and reverence. This is such a sacred life we bear. I am brought more and more to a realization that it needs to be… that even the smallest moments must be held as sacred. I’m praying for someone who the Docs have told that the medicine isn’t working anymore. My heart is broken, but there is still something, someone I hold so tightly to.
The ONE THING that can be shaken, but not dislodged within me. My belief that God is not only alongside and within us NOW, but to the very moment that Gods presence will change shape and meet us at the end of the road. And that Presence will meet all that hold space for us as well, because that space is HOLY, and it is SACRED, and God dwells within the Holy and the Sacred, no matter how messy it appears. To hold faith, I don’t tell it what it do, neither do I command IT to obey me any longer. Faith is much bigger than I, much wiser than I. I embrace it and it encompasses me.
I have come to place of peace with faith. I have consented to accept the things I cannot change and to change the things I can, and to somehow come to a place where I can discern which is which at any given moment. What I want to remember is that I can stay away from creating more stories around the story that I have. To remain in a state of trust, I can allow the questions without building a story that will cause suffering, and I don’t have to be afraid of the questions, but I can refuse that those questions will often offer me “assumed” answers that will make me suffer. To be comfortable when the questions come rather than to feel like I need to have the answer, is a peaceful place to be for me. The minute I go to all the other thoughts around the issue, my heart begins to fear and suffer, because the stories that come are usually infused with fear and suffering. Vain imaginations , so to speak.
So… I have come to know that when I am bowed over, I am not alone. When I open my eyes after the tears, there is someone bigger than I that has their eye on ME. And that eye is on the smallest sparrow as well.
And so today, this moment, is the only moment I or anyone else has. I hold it close. I call it HOLY. I honor it as SACRED. And the moment holds me intact, unscathed, and I BREATHE. ❤